Alejandro's BringTheKidsHome.org

The following was written by Alejandro Mendoza in March of 2010 in his ongoing effort to recover his kidnapped children who were being kept in South Korea, a country that does not abide by international treaties on International Child Abduction and therefore does not regularly return abducted children.

I am the father of two wonderful children: my son Kristian who will be six years old in May, and his younger sister Haerin who recently turned three. I have not seen them in almost a year, and I miss them dearly. My two children were born in New Jersey, USA, where my wife and I have a home and have lived for over twelve years.

I am a professional violinist, graduate of the Juilliard School, a performer and a teacher. For over twelve years I have run a nonprofit music school in New Jersey where children learn classical music. I am also a violin professor at the Manhattan School of Music and at Columbia University.

In late February of 2009 our whole family traveled together to South Korea, my wife’s country of birth, where at her request I accepted temporary work as a professor at Suwon University. My wife had been asking me for quite some time to take the family to Korea as she wished that the children would be exposed to a Korean experience. Although I did not know it at the time, immediately upon our arrival in Korea, my wife changed the names of our children. This was done without my consent or knowledge. My last name was erased from their newly assumed identities. I only found out by accident when a school teacher told me my son’s “new name”. When I confronted my wife about this she complained that my western last name was too difficult so she gave the children her last name instead. I also found out that for our trip to Korea she had bought a round trip ticket for me so I could come back to America, but she bought one-way tickets for her and the children. My wife then opened a bank account in Korea under her name and made arrangements for my salary to be deposited to her account. I was told by my wife that as a foreigner I would not be able to open a bank account in Korea for quite some time. I suddenly started to feel very vulnerable in a country where I did not speak the language and where my wife was starting to exhibit questionable behavior. But the hard truth, which made me realize that this trip abroad had been a mistake, came after one month of work. My salary was half of what my wife had calculated and which she said she had negotiated in Korean before we left America. With this salary a family of four would not be able to exist. I then realized that I would need to quickly try to make arrangements to come back to America with my family.

At the beginning of April, 2009 I communicated to my wife that I saw no other choice but to bring the whole family back to America; for this I would be taking a short trip back to the U.S. to make sure that my jobs in New Jersey and New York were still secure. On April 25 of 2009 I travelled back to the USA and I reported to all my places of work. Two days later my wife phoned to tell me not to return to Korea because she had made criminal accusations against me to the police in Korea and that I might go to jail for many years in a foreign country; a place where I do not speak the language and I do not understand the legal system. She indicated that she would raise the children on her own and that she would take over my position at Suwon University in Korea. The hard truth was now in the open, my wife’s intentions were to take my children away from me and she went to such an extent as to make false accusations against me in a country where I am a foreigner and she would have the upper hand. I asked her how she could do such a monstrous thing to me and she said that on the contrary, I should be thankful, she was calling to warn me and that way I could avoid jail; all I had to do was to not return to Korea.

I did travel back to Korea. I could not imagine doing what my wife was proposing, that I just abandon my family. I decided to take a risk, face the authorities, and a legal system that I am unfamiliar with; but I would not abandon my children. On May 9, 2009 I arrived in Korea determined to see my children and try to talk to my wife. As I travelled from the airport to our apartment my heart was racing since I was eager to see my family, but that excitement was brutally transformed into despair when I arrived at our apartment and it was empty. My wife had run away taking the children with her. I was devastated; now my wife had kidnapped the children and disappeared. I sat down trying to think of what I could do in this country so far from home and I felt my eyes filled with tears. My two beautiful young children were now gone.

I called my wife on her cellular phone to no avail; she also ignored my e-mails pleading with her to come back. On Monday, May 11, (2009) I visited the American Embassy in Korea and reported that my two American children were missing in Korea as they had been kidnapped by their mother. I added that their mother perhaps was not emotionally stable to do something like this and I feared for their safety. The vice-consul that I met was very kind, sympathetic, and could see the agonizing pain that I was going through. She indicated that she was a parent herself and could not imagine experiencing what a parent of kidnapped children must feel. She explained, however, that it was difficult for the embassy to do much as they are not the police; they are just an embassy. She kindly offered to try to call my wife and, if she did get through, could talk from one mother to another and try to help. But my wife was not answering calls from anyone.

After that, I voluntarily went to the Police in Korea to answer any questions that they would have regarding my wife’s accusations. As I am innocent of any allegation that she might have made I was confident that the police would see the truth right away. After this I went back to the USA to start a long difficult fight to recover my children with the help of the U.S. State Department and the Court System in New Jersey. The State of New Jersey has jurisdiction over the case of my children as my wife and I were longtime residents of New Jersey. Both of our children were born here and they are American citizens as I am myself.

A year full of pain has passed and I have not been able to recover my children yet. They both had birthdays that I could not share with them. I am going through a very slow legal process trying to fight for the return of my children to their home in the U.S., I have paid enormous amounts of money in legal fees and other expenses in two countries, and I have spent everything that I had. I recently sold my most prized possession, which had accompanied me in all my professional life as a classical violinist, I sold my violin. This is so I can continue to pay for legal help in this long and difficult fight.

My children need their father and I need them. A horrible act was committed by my wife. She made a false criminal accusation, she abducted the children, and she has actively alienated the children from their father who loves them. For this she has used tricks and lies without remorse. Many people are getting hurt, my children, me, and the rest of my family, but my wife will not admit it. She thinks she is entitled to do what she has done. I need to rescue my children from this sick, immoral, selfish environment. I need to give them a good education and provide a good life for them. Most of all I need to provide a safe home where they will feel love and care. I cannot give up, I am their father.

Recently there was a sudden breakthrough; my estranged wife was arrested in Guam in the first days of March 2010. For some reason she travelled to this U.S. territory and was immediately detained by law enforcement officials there.

Previously the State of New Jersey had issued a nationwide warrant for her arrest on charges of concealing minor children in a foreign country and interfering with the custody rights of the father. I had been awarded full legal custody of the children by the Superior Court of New Jersey since October 1, 2009, and my estranged wife was ordered to return the children to their home in the U.S immediately. Sadly, the children had been left in Korea where they now continue to be wrongfully retained by the grandmother and the aunt. So even while my ex-wife is in custody I still cannot retrieve my children. Now I have a renewed hope that I will be able to be with them soon, but the separation is just as painful as it was one year ago. I miss them more than ever and I dream of the day when we can be reunited.